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Jul. 7th, 2005 @ 09:46 am (no subject)
I've been very unmotivated in my faith lately. I haven't been praying, and I haven't been to church in (I think) a month! Josh and I are greeters at church Sunday, so that will definitely get us there. I've just been kind of downtrodden in my relationship with God lately. I think I alluded to it the other day when I posted about prayer. I'm just not sure what to be praying about right now, so I just haven't really been talking to God at all.

I'm trying to think it through... What do you do when you feel a loved one lets you down? What would I do if I felt Josh let me down? Well, the first thing is that I would really try to understand if Josh really did something, or if there was really something wrong with my expectations. If I still felt he let me down, I would care enough to talk to him about it. I certainly wouldn't leave things unsaid, letting things just fester. *sigh* I guess I just answered my own question.

I'm thinking about starting an experiment for myself. I'm much more able to focus my thoughts when I write things down. I do this at work all the time - when I'm dealing with a complex issue, I get really linear and logical...going step by step, writing things down to work through them until the answer presents itself. So, I'm thinking that since I haven't been doing well with spoken prayer (okay, spoken in my mind, anyway, not out loud) - I tend to either forget to do it or my mind wanders off - I'm thinking about starting to write my prayers nightly in a journal. I'll keep the journal on my nightstand, so I'll have it ready when I want it.

We'll see how this works.
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okp - flowers
okp:
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From:chestnutcurls
Date:July 7th, 2005 02:58 pm (UTC)
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I write my daily prayers in a journal and it's the only way I can pray for any length of time. :) It really helps me not to get distracted, because I'm busy writing.
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From:okp
Date:July 7th, 2005 03:03 pm (UTC)
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Thanks. I don't think it's a coincidence that this thought popped into my head and has stayed there. Maybe God's trying to help me talk to Him! :)

Mind if I 'friend' you, by the way? I'm Presbyterian, as well! :)
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From:okp
Date:July 7th, 2005 03:57 pm (UTC)
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I have some good information in a book at home about 'why do bad things happen to good people' kind of thing. It's like the philosophy 101 discussions about whether you can really have good without evil. How would you know good when you see it? And the concept of greater good - there is always something good that happens out of every tragedy. But it is frustrating when we don't know the answers.
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From:rawee1
Date:July 7th, 2005 06:06 pm (UTC)
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We haven't been in probably a month and a half, and before that it had become sporadic. It's just too hard to see my sunday school pals and their pregnant bellies. :(

I'd have been 13 weeks today...
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From:okp
Date:July 7th, 2005 06:28 pm (UTC)
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I'm sorry, sweetie. Hopefully you'll get some good news very soon!
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From:cargile24
Date:July 7th, 2005 06:23 pm (UTC)
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I used to keep a prayer journal and it was really helpful. I really liked being able to go back and mark things out that GOD had done or answered. I have been doing the same thing as you. Feeling kinda melancholy- and not really praying. I don't know what it is. I also have not been going to church regularly. I really need to work on it. I will pray for you- please pray for me also.
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From:okp
Date:July 7th, 2005 06:29 pm (UTC)
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Thanks! I'm going to get Josh to go with me tonight to find a nice journal.

I'm glad to see you posting! I thought last night that I hadn't seen from you in a while...
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From:cargile24
Date:July 7th, 2005 06:50 pm (UTC)
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I went out of town Saturday morning, and didn't get back until late last night. No posting out of town. The computer is in a guest bedroom (not the one I use), so I would have kept them up all night with my click click clicking.