I've been very unmotivated in my faith lately. I haven't been praying, and I haven't been to church in (I think) a month! Josh and I are greeters at church Sunday, so that will definitely get us there. I've just been kind of downtrodden in my relationship with God lately. I think I alluded to it the other day when I posted about prayer. I'm just not sure what to be praying about right now, so I just haven't really been talking to God at all.
I'm trying to think it through... What do you do when you feel a loved one lets you down? What would I do if I felt Josh let me down? Well, the first thing is that I would really try to understand if Josh really did something, or if there was really something wrong with my expectations. If I still felt he let me down, I would care enough to talk to him about it. I certainly wouldn't leave things unsaid, letting things just fester. *sigh* I guess I just answered my own question.
I'm thinking about starting an experiment for myself. I'm much more able to focus my thoughts when I write things down. I do this at work all the time - when I'm dealing with a complex issue, I get really linear and logical...going step by step, writing things down to work through them until the answer presents itself. So, I'm thinking that since I haven't been doing well with spoken prayer (okay, spoken in my mind, anyway, not out loud) - I tend to either forget to do it or my mind wanders off - I'm thinking about starting to write my prayers nightly in a journal. I'll keep the journal on my nightstand, so I'll have it ready when I want it.
We'll see how this works.